My Hijab Story

Who is the cutie dolly in the hijab? That is Meagan! That is the porcelain doll my dad gave my mom when she was pregnant with me. She decided that when I was born she would name me after this beautiful doll. So, here I am! Meagan! Meagan means "pearl", hence my blogger name "Pearl of Islam"!

I haven't always been Muslim. I grew up in a Christian family in a rural community and went to church every Sunday. I have always believed in God and prayed before going to bed every night. Little did I know, my whole life has been leading to the moment I would realize the truth in Islam and find what my life has been missing. 

You see, I have always felt different from my family and friends. I never wore revealing clothing, ever. I never "partied" or drank alcohol, although all my friends and parents would. I never had a boyfriend growing up and had no interest. I was going to get my education and become a pediatrician. I had developed my own morals and way of life that matched that of a by born Muslim girl, although I had no idea about this beautiful religion. 

Pursuing my education, I moved to the city to attend University. My plans had changed at that point though. I have decided to work towards obtaining a Nursing degree and become a pediatric nurse instead. I figure nurses work on a more personal level with patients, and that is what I want most while working in a medical field. While in While in University, I met the man who would change my life for the better. His name is Khalid. He is from Bangladesh, is a twin, studies Engineering, and is Muslim. As a friend, he invited me to a dinner to celebrate the Islamic religious holiday "Eid". I was honored to attend this event and  learn't a lot. My friendship with Khalid grew. He taught me so much, about God (Allah), Islam, and life. He also showed me how to love and to be loved. We had so much in common and soon realized we were mean't to be together. We are soul mates. He proposed shortly after, and we are now happily engaged! (We plan on having the wedding after we both finish school.)

Me and Khalid at a local Museum. 

Khalid has always told me that I am very modest and have a manner about me that matches that of a practicing Muslim girl. He told me so much about the Quran, Allah, and Muhammad(pbuh), and I always seemed to push it off and ignore his words. But I wasn't. I was listening to every word. I was absorbing the TRUTH! I was interested, but pretended to be uninterested in knowing anything about Islam, let alone convert. I read the Quran in my own time and looked up answers to some of my questions about this religion. I was intrigued! The values, conduct, modesty, compassion, and devotion to Allah! It is amazing! How can it not be true!? So, I converted. In my room I sat down, said the defining words "La ilah illa Allah, Muhammad rasoolu Allah.", which means "I testify that there is no true god but God (Allah), and that Muhammad is a Messenger (Prophet) of God". I told Khalid three days later. He was shocked, but so very happy. He was happy for me! Happy I made this amazing live changing decision on my own! I am happy too! I haven't been happier! I found life in Allah and Islam! This was about five months ago. 

I decided to start wearing the hijab maybe a month after converting. It was a difficult decision to make, I can't deny that. I was scared. I was scared what my family would say and think, how my friends and school mates would react, and how my school faculty and society in general would treat me because of this decision. I secretly bought a scarf. It was a beautiful purple (my favorite color) and white one. I tried it on at home, practiced putting it on and got comfortable wearing it. Then one day after I dropped Khalid off at University I went to my classes at the hospital. In the car of the parking lot, I gathered my strength and extinguished my fears and carefully put on my hjab, the symbol of my faith. I was shaking as I walked through the hospital, but I knew Allah was by my side, holding my head up, keeping me strong. The stares, the whispers and the exclamations "What are you wearing?", "What is that?", "But, WHY?"... Khalid was just as surprised when I picked him up, but hid it well by pretending he didn't even notice the scarf beautifully covering my hair. I am thankful for that. He must have known that I had heard enough that day, and didn't need anymore alienation, I needed to be treated normal. I survived that long, scary day and I have continued to wear it with pride since. I love my hijab! I love the freedom it gives me!  It is Allah's way to keep me safe from judgement and degradation. I have to admit though, it has been hard at times. But me and my faith are much stronger. The good days and joy of being a symbol of the beautiful religion, Islam, out weigh the days of prejudice and discrimination. I will continue to wear my hijab, and wear it proudly. Inshallah, when Khalid and I get married and have our own children someday, we will teach them they never have to hide their religion, to be scared of who they are and to be proud they are Muslim because Allah is always with them. For now though, Inshallah, I will finish this semester of Nursing successfully and Khalid will teach me the prayer during the summer. I look forward to praying five times a day to give thanks to our creator, Allah!